Quarantine Questions

I’m finally in the headspace to write so let’s get it...


Me: 

Y’all: How you holding up? How you feel about no shows until 2021? How you been, I know music & concerts bring you joy? How’s life been without concerts?

The questions that I’ve highkey been asked constantly. 

Now that I’ve opened up about how shows have really helped me mentally I guess it’s common for people to care about how I’m doing since I’m unable to do something that makes me happy/brings me joy. 

Even funnier that I started a blog about concerts in a season where not being able to go to any concerts would be a thing. One week I’m enjoying Rod Wave and the next the week there’s a “Stay at Home” order. 2020 came out swinging. 

I could have easily thought....Issa joke  I could have felt discouraged, right?? Think about it: A concert Blog....something different, something fun, something where I can finally find the words to release in a healthy way ultimately has to “end” because of COVID-19. 

Having conversations with myself like: 

“I wrote and released ALL this stuff, saved ALL these videos, & can’t go to anymore shows!”  (The audacity of me to complain 😂💀)

Like most of us, I’m in quarantine and I’m overthinking (having more conversations with myself basically)....I thoroughly enjoy being transparent with myself. 

If COVID-19 happened last year when I was living by myself, I WOULD NOT HAVE MADE IT. I wish I could hug those that a struggling right now, because I could only imagine. I was down bad, but at least I could go out to poorly deal with myself. When I say by the grace of God I am still here, oh I mean that every time! Even in my darkest days, he continued to shine some light. ⬅️Remember that! 

Back to me talking to myself, 

Me to Me...AGAIN:

Maybe, just maybe....During this virus I needed to heal from ALL the situations that resulted into me going to a show to cope. Maybe, just maybe...the things I wrote about that correlated to each concert I really needed to deal with. The stories behind some of those shows were not all that great or that funny, but it was a good story to tell.

Pastor Todd (ill link you) talked about being in a pit 2 weeks ago. In book club recently, I said I believe my pit started in 2016 (the first time I fasted) - December 2019 (2019, a year of depression).  I was just talking when I said it, but if you evaluate my blog I’ve been going to shows consistently since 2016. El oh el, the joke was on me!  I was the problem and I had a problem 😭. 

No 🧢, I’ve seen a lot of great people though lol. 

So to answer the question, “How have I been holding up?”...I’m good and I’m not lying about it!

The moment I stopped chasing HAPPINESS....I found JOY. Joy is everlasting. Joy is consistent. However, happiness along with all of the other emotions we experience as humans comes and goes. Sometimes you experience all of the emotions of being happy, sad, and mad in the same setting or throughout the day. 

Chasing happiness was in a way like chasing my next concert. Concerts = Happiness, so I thought/operated. 

One concert ends and then boom, I’m ready for the next. Bouncing from show to show trying to fulfill a void that no performer could ever fulfill. In the moment of a concert everything is PERFECT, but afterwards I still had to go home and deal with me. Kind of like now, we were all so busy with life chasing after happiness, money, success, dreams, or whatever. Now we are all home forced to deal with US and all that includes! 

The joy that I have has granted me peace. Of course I have my days (ask my roommate)...sometimes I fall short, but I don’t dwell on my sadness. I don’t sit on my shortcomings. I don’t allow my mistakes to define me. I know I’m progressing and I know I’m not perfect. Most importantly I’ve forgiven me. I’m still hard on myself, but the people I surround myself with help with that. 

Yessssssirrrrrrrrrr

I’ve been running like outside for exercise😂..I have asthma so it’s been a struggle. I finally went home and had a nice trip. Didn’t see everyone, but a very good visit. Learning I can’t do wash and go hairstyles and my blowout hair is my favorite. I’ve also been trying to perfect my skin care routine, you know loving myself more in a way. I’ve also been working from home and watching a lot of Netflix & Hulu.

Been in quarantine since the middle of March and while having a conversation with my big sister today I realized I needed to REST. I needed to RESET! I needed to REFOCUS! 
 

Ohhhhhh, I’m coming like church on a Sunday with 3 bullet points. Idk if I’ve heard this from somewhere or if this is truly off the dome but....🤯

1. REST
2. RESET 
3. REFOCUS

So, I’ve been reading some of my older blog post like“This is TRASH, but God I trust you”. I’m thankful that y’all enjoyed what I did find the courage to write about 💜. I appreciate those that are checking up on me ! I’m trying to do better by checking in on y’all too! I’m sure when I can finally go to a concert the words I use to write about it will come from a good place. ☺️

Since I can’t physically go to shows I’ve been watching the #VERZUZ battles by Swizz Beats & Timbaland. Some better than others. Some WiFi connections are stronger than others as well. Please Pray for Nelly and the clouds !! 

STILL FINE 🙌🏾

Erykah & Jill did exactly what needed to be done. I’m screaming “I’M PROUD OF YOU BLACK WOMAN” all year! Johnta Austin & Neyo (KNEE YO - Tierra Whack) were great! I even enjoyed T-Pain and Lil Jon as well! I wonder who is next! Babyface & Teddy Riley was a struggle...but not too bad after the technical difficulties.

- Tyrese😂. 

I would love a Chris Brown and Trey Songz battle so I can sing and see them for entertainment! 

I also watched Anthony Hamilton & Kem do a little battle themselves because I’m truly an auntie. I wanted to see Mr. Collard Greens & Cornbread this month, but it’s all good! 

I’ve been entertaining The After5ive Podcast post on Twitter, follow & listen to them! They started up some heat with this one! THE ANSWER IS WALE. 

I also been trying to support my friends whether out loud or from a distance during this time. So many podcast/YouTube channels are being created and updated, Sample Sundays are hitting, new ideas and businesses are being developed, skin care products for people that look like me are dropping, people are writing, people are making more music, people are making videos for their music, people are perfecting playlist, freestyles are hitting 1M views, the hairstylist are in their BAG.....knotless braids are being PERFECTED & wigs are being SOLD, T-shirts are being designed, people are painting like they are Picasso, people are hosting functions via IG, IG Lives are going up on Thursdays, a #FlipTheSwitchChallenge is occurring, book clubs are happening (#RealationshipGoals), photographers are getting creative, websites are being developed, candles are being sold, dance videos are being made, and more! All that you have is literally all that you need!  Yes, I indirectly tried to mention all of you! I love y’all and I’m proud of y’all! I pray God touches everyone and everything I’m connected to during this time. 

These cancellation emails HURT!!

 

🗣 I’M GETTING MY MONEY BACK tho!! 

Alexa play “I Got Money Now” x Deante’ Hitchcock ft. JID! My mans just dropped so please listen. My favorites are probably Circles, Shadowman’s Interlude, Flashbacks, and Growing Up/Mother God. 

I’ve also been able to listen to more music in quarantine as well! PLEASE PLAY GIVEON, RIGHT NOW!!!! Love finding new artist or rediscovering old music. I have a Quarantine Playlist and if you have read my blog up until this point I’ll share it with you! Thanks for reading, thanks for listening, thanks for understanding, and thanks for checking in! 

I may look dusty, but I’M GOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!! 💜

 *T-Pain’s voice from Good Life x (the old) Kanye ft. T-Pain*